...And now for something completely pointless.

My cats have an impressively wide vocabulary.

I say: "Hi, cat."
Catface hears: [nothing]
Satch hears: "Stop whatever you're doing and mew for me."

I say: "Good night!"
Catface hears: "I'm leaving you forever to go have fun behind this closed door without you, and your only hope of stopping me is to go into full hissing, clawing, and snapping attack mode."
Satch hears: "I'll no longer be able to see you if you jump on the counter."

I say: "Outside?"
Catface hears: "Come stand by the door and wait patiently while I hook your leash to your harness."
Satch hears: "The door has magically become insubstantial, and all you have to do to get through it is scratch frantically at the door jamb."

I say: "Inside!"
Catface hears: "Time to go inside."
Satch hears: [nothing]

I say: "Let me unhook you."
Catface hears: "Stand still so that I can remove your leash."
Satch hears: "Strain against the leash as hard as you can, because it will help me get it off faster."

I say: "Hang on..."
Catface hears: "Stand still."
Satch hears: "Try harder! The leash will disappear if you just pull hard enough!"

I say: "Food."
Catface hears: "No matter how long it takes you to get here, all your food will still be waiting for you."
Satch hears: "FOODfoodfoodfoodfoodFOOOOOD."

I say: "Go get the Catface, Satch."
Catface hears: "You still have a good 20 or 30 minutes to get downstairs."
Satch hears: "Stand beside me at the foot of the stairs and look impatiently up them waiting for the Catface to appear."

I say: "Not yet, cats."
Catface hears: "I'm going to feed you now."
Satch hears: "I'm going to feed you now."

I say: "It's OK, cat."
Catface hears: "I'm going to feed you now."
Satch hears: "I'm going to feed you now."

I say: "Oh, oops, I'm sorry cat, are you ok?"
Catface hears: "You can stop hiding now."
Satch hears: "I'm going to feed you now."

I say: "Get down!"
Catface hears: "I'm going to spray you if you don't get down."
Satch hears: [nothing]

I say: "No!"
Catface hears: "Run!"
Satch hears: [nothing]

I say: "Good cat."
Catface hears: "Run; I'm going to pet you now."
Satch hears: "If you beg enough, I may feed you now."

I say: "I'm home."
Catface hears: [nothing]
Satch hears: "I have a present for you!"

I say: "Get the bug!"
Catface hears: "Stop chasing the bug, I want Satch to have it."
Satch hears: "Stop chasing the bug and stare blankly at me."

I say: "Oww!"
Catface hears: [nothing]
Satch hears: "Keep playing, you're winning!"